When government legislates morality, individuals lose.
Today's kerfuffle over gay marriage is another clumsy
attempt by lawmakers to impose their views on private
behavior.
The best solution (for both heterosexual and homosexual
couples) is for government to get out of the marriage
business.
First, a little perspective.
I Do Thee Wed
Marriage is a universal _expression_
of love. Generations of romantics have used the ceremony as a
symbol of devotion and the pledge of a life-long commitment.
In most cases, deciding to marry is a serious and gradual
process combining both the head and the heart. Intellectually,
each partner should clearly assess:
* Current finances
* Future job prospects
* Where to
live
* Whether to have children, and
* Religious
beliefs.
Emotionally, couples should look deep inside themselves and
ask:
* Will I love this person for the rest of my life?
*
Will we continue to be best friends no matter what?
* Will
our agreements outweigh our disagreements?
* Will our
families approve? And
* Will I faithfully honor the
commitment I'm making to my partner?
When the answer is "yes", the next step is to visit the
courthouse or city hall to obtain a marriage license.
But why?
A License for Love?
If two thoughtful, consenting
adults want to marry, why do they need a state-sanctioned
document?
Fundamentally, the government should stay out of personal
romantic, religious, and legal decisions made by free
individuals. These decisions should be voluntary and between
individual consenting adults.
Government's main responsibility is to enforce these
voluntary contracts and adjudicate disputes.
Simply put, Judge Judy may be the enforcer when
things go sour, but the lovers should write their own script.
Like Wedding-Night Condoms, One Size Does Not Fit
All
Today, we have 50 uniform marriage license
contracts -- one for each state. Instead of the consenting
adults writing their own unique script (a customized agreement
matching their particular needs) they must follow rigid,
pre-existing terms and conditions written by politicians. (How
romantic is that?)
Depending on the state, a current license spells out
responsibilities of the two parties and the terms of
dissolution, including property division, child-custody rules,
and inheritance.
Privatize
Social commentator David Boaz suggests
we junk the old license system and privatize marriage:
"Make it a private contract between two individuals," he
writes. "If they wanted to contract for a traditional
breadwinner/homemaker setup, with specified rules for property
and alimony in the event of divorce, they could do so.
"Less traditional couples could keep their assets separate
and agree to share specified expenses. Those with assets to
protect could sign pre-nuptial agreements that courts could
respect. Marriage contracts could be as individually tailored
as other contracts are in our diverse capitalist world.
"For those who wanted a standard one-size-fits-all
contract, that would still be easy to obtain. Wal-Mart could
sell marriage contracts next to the standard rental forms.
Couples would then be spared the surprise discovery that
outsiders had changed their contract without warning.
Individual churches, synagogues, and temples could make their
own rules about which marriages they would bless."
Individual Freedom
Marriage is a personal matter,
freely entered into by free individuals. It must be
neither encouraged nor discouraged by the state.
The modern nanny state, however, believes it needs to be
our partner, intimately involved in all of our private
affairs, personal property decisions and economic activity.
(Some even want to include the specifics of love and marriage
in the U.S. Constitution!).
Marriage is too important to be controlled by politicians.
Marriage is one of our society's most important private
acts.
It is precisely these sacred private acts that must never
require government review, government sanction or a government
license.
Forever Hold Your Peace?
On this most romantic of
subjects, whisper a few sweet nothings in our ear by clicking
on the View/Add Comments button with your view.
Thanks.
